- Mar 25, 2025
How to Talk to Your Partner About Sex (Without Cringing)
- Shay
- Sex & Intimacy
Let’s be real - talking about sex can be super awkward. But here’s the thing: if you can’t talk openly about it, how are you supposed to enjoy it? Whether you’ve been together for years or you’re still in the honeymoon phase, communication is key to keeping your sex life sizzling.
Here’s how to talk to your partner about sex—without feeling like you’re about to die from embarrassment.
1. Pick the Right Time (Not During Netflix, Please)
First things first: timing is EVERYTHING. If you’re in the middle of a Netflix binge or your partner is already stressing about work, now’s not the time.
Pick a chill moment: Maybe after dinner or when you’re both winding down. Something relaxed, where you’re both in a good headspace.
Casual tone: Don’t make it sound like a formal meeting. “So, babe, I’ve been thinking… we should talk about our sex life” works so much better than a serious “We need to talk.”
The goal? Make it feel like a normal conversation. You don’t want to sit down like you’re about to drop a bomb.
2. Be Honest, But Don't Sound Like a Critic
Now’s your chance to get real. But remember: honesty doesn’t mean slamming your partner. It means sharing what you like, what feels good, and what could use a little… improvement.
Use “I” statements: Avoid saying, “You always…” or “You never…” Instead, say, “I’d really love if we could…” or “I’ve been thinking it’d be fun to try…”
Stay upbeat: Even if you want to bring something up that’s not working for you, keep it light. Think, “Hey, what if we tried this? Could be fun!”
The goal? Let them know what you need, without making it feel like a lecture. Trust us, they’ll appreciate your honesty.
3. Let Your Curiosity Shine (Ask, Don’t Assume)
Sex isn’t all about you. You’ve got to know what your partner likes too. So, ask them! Make it a two-way convo.
Ask open-ended questions like: “What do you enjoy most in the bedroom?” or “Is there something new you’d like to try?”
Don’t interrupt—listen! Make sure you’re really tuning in to what they’re saying.
The goal? Make it feel like a fun exploration, not a “Here’s what I want, deal with it” situation.
4. Set Boundaries (But Make It Sexy)
Everyone’s got boundaries, and they need to be talked about. But here’s the secret—talking boundaries can actually make your sex life better. When you’re both clear on what’s off-limits and what’s totally game, there’s less room for awkwardness later.
Be upfront: If there’s something you’re not into, say it. And make sure to respect their boundaries too.
Make it sexy: Boundaries don’t have to sound like a rulebook. “I’d love to try this, but I’m not feeling x” is way more fun than “I don’t like this, ever.”
The goal? Have a conversation that feels safe and sexy, not restrictive.
5. Keep It Light (No Need for a TED Talk)
Okay, we get it. Sometimes, the topic of sex can feel as serious as a job interview. But it doesn’t have to be! You don’t need a PowerPoint to have a healthy conversation.
Crack a joke or make it a bit playful. Laughter is a great way to break the tension. “I swear, we’re not going to end up in a therapy session here!”
Keep it simple: Don’t overcomplicate things. You’re talking about sex, not trying to solve the meaning of life.
The goal? Keep the conversation breezy. There’s no need for it to be “The Big Talk” unless you make it one.
6. Make It a Regular Thing (Not Just a One-Off)
This isn’t a one-time conversation, folks. If you’re both serious about improving your sex life, talking about it regularly is key.
Check in often: Ask each other how you’re feeling, if there’s anything new you want to try, or if something isn’t quite hitting the mark.
Be honest and keep it fun: This doesn’t have to be all formal, so don’t make it a chore. Just make it part of your regular “how are we doing?” chats.
The goal? Keep the lines of communication wide open—and keep it fresh.
7. Be Patient (It’s a Process, Not a Race)
Remember, talking about sex is a process. Don’t expect to have one deep conversation and think that everything will magically change. Just like sex itself, these convos take time to evolve.
Take it slow: If your partner isn’t ready to open up immediately, that’s cool. Let them come to it in their own time.
Check back in: After the conversation, give it a little time and then revisit it. See how things are going, and ask how they’re feeling.
The goal? Be patient with yourself and your partner. This isn’t a quick fix—it’s about building a connection.
Talking About Sex Doesn’t Have to Be Awkward
At the end of the day, talking about sex is just that—talking. No need to make it more complicated than it is. Be honest, keep it light, and have fun exploring each other’s desires. The more you talk, the better it gets.
And hey, if you need to laugh about it or make a joke, go for it! Who says talking about sex can’t be a good time?
Not sure how to start the conversation or feeling stuck?
If talking about sex with your partner still feels overwhelming or you’re not sure where to begin, a 1-hour Deep Dive could be exactly what you need. Together, we’ll focus on your unique challenge, whether it’s communication, connection, or something else. By the end of the session, you’ll have practical tools to make these conversations easier and more effective.
Ready to make things happen? Book your 1-hour Deep Dive now.